Saturday, 23 August 2014


These banks like to dey tempt somebody.
That was how few days ago, i was sitting down pondering all sorts oh. Not least of all, my brother and his never ending rent payments/ exam fees.
We used to send him money via a domiciliary account but it was so slow, it took about three day for him to get the money.
Then there were all sorts of money we had to pay to the bank here, to the bank abroad, queue, and also go change Naira into Euro ourselves as the bank never seemed to have any Euro.

So, One day i had the bright idea of opening another savings account, obtaining a Mastercard and sending it down to him so that he had access to the money paid into the account immediately via the Atm wherever he was.
Best of all, the Atm coughed out Euros, so no need to change money.

So there i was, pondering my account balance and when this whole Phd stuff was gonna end,
 *Hint.Still a very long time* Then i got a debit alert. That meant he had successfully withdrawn the money.
 I sighed to myself. And almost immediately i started getting credit alerts.
 At first i was happy, maybe one of my numerous onigbeses aka perpetual debtors had decided to have some shame and pay me my money.

But on closer  look, there was no name, and the money my brother had already withdrawn also came back.
By the time i checked my balance, there was close to a million.

Toh! See this alakoba people. Sending awoof money when i didn't ask them? And if somebody touches the money now, they will start looking for somebody about.
I can see the headllines.
A short, female ,lawyer blogger, who withdrew money not belonging to her is wanted by the EFCC, ICPC, POLICE, Code of Conduct Bureau, Nigerian Bar Association and her village Aproko Association to come and explain herself and face disciplinary action or Court charges.

They will not say that i was sitting down jejely and they brought temptation to my door.
After a day had passed and they refused to remove their money, i called UBA bank customer care,
One snooty sounding girl picked it up.
" You people should come and carry your money oh". I screamed down the phone.
"Excuse me" She was very baffled.
I sha gave her the bank details and told them to come and carry their money asap Or else?
You wont believe it was 2 days later before they eventually removed it.
And she didn't even say Thank you.
I feel like i deserve a medal or something. lol

In other news my cousin and her four kids came in to visit us today.
Let's just say I have a headache.
I dunno who taught those kids how to change  TV stations on the remote. Let's just say my dad went from watching the Chelsea match to watching Cartoon Network.
I can't have four kids oh. I love them and all, but I think two is ok. And if they decide to come as twins, even better.

I wish I could find the person who opened Facebook account for my mum.
And strangle the person. (i think it was my sister or my Cousin)
I was trying to sleep late, today being Saturday and all.
Next thing I know,drama starts.
My mum wanted someone who could help her un-friend my dad from Facebook.
Imagine! Early in the morning. She is such a drama queen ehn!
Apparently, my dad wished a lady Happy Birthday on Facebook with a pic of balloons attached.
Now according to my mum, why didn't he just write Happy Birthday and leave it at that.Why did he add the picture if there wasn't something to it.
My dad said he was friends with the lady's husband and my mum said which kain "friend" is that that she hasn't ever heard of.
I was amazed at her reasoning so It was time to play investigator.
I went to look at the girls Timeline and eventually found a msg from her husband wishing her happy birthday.
That should solve the problem abi? At least she is married.  Nope. Showed it to my mum but that didn't appease her.
She was all "why did he say I was asking stupid questions"?
"And why do you always support your dad".
Duh! Cos he always makes sense and i can't deal with your drama.
How is your weekend going? Are you having fun?
Lets talk.


  1. Lmao @ur Mum! Don't laugh at her too hard o, cos u'll be just like her sooner than u know. It has already started.:) Meanwhile, what state do u live in sef? - Harper

  2. Hehehehe very funny post Funmi, but I bump into this around 3 am this morning but in my mind I was like are your parent still that young that your Mum would still suspect your Dad lol. Na Harper my guy I don't agree with you in this one my funmi would not have to go through this lol

    1. Thanks jare my broda.You are darn right i am not gonna put myself thru dat. They are not young in any mum just has a fertile imagination and waaaay too much time on her hands. 3am? What were you doing up so late?

  3. @ Harper, lemme laugh jo. No frickin way i do stuff like that particularly at that age.
    Sure i have my own drama, but i kinda have a laidback, i-cant-kill-myself-personality.
    It all depends on who i end up marrying sha. Hopefully, no drama at all.
    Do you wanna come visit me soon or somffin? On Your Own.

    1. Yes na. I have to know where to carry the tubas of yam, kolanut, etc to. Hehe.... Is that Ibadan I see? :) - Harper

    2. Yep. Thats what you see. I thought, does Harper still have his "sharp guy mojo"? Is he gonna get my hint or was I going to have to spell it out?hehehe.
      You still do apparently.

    3. Lol! Sharp babe. I once dated a girl from Ib..... story for the day we meet. Lovely girl. :)

  4. hahahahahahahahahahaha mehn you are a personification of the word Funny aswear, mehn that WANTED part had me laughing like a fish aswear. :D... Bubba that was how i was on my own oh, and GT credited me 10M in April, sadly before i could say Jackie Chan, the money e haf move sharp sharp! :( So I was a Ten Millionaire.. These bank people ehn.. **Crying in French. @GTB diarisgodoooo Funmi i can imagine the Drama in ya house oh! hehehe Now that must be mega fun! no be small why did he add Baloons oh! Someday sha, when we get to their age yeah, maybe we will get to understand. @ Your Coding with Harper, dayumm that was smart.. I had to read the comment like 5 times before i could decipher... heheheh You guys are oh! Nice...

    1. Seriously! 10m.why did they not allow me share in the bounty now before they took it away.
      i wonder how those banks make costly mistakes like that.
      Fun?lol. it's mostly exasperating when it happens and annoying when it blows over and they are best of friends again.
      I am like wtf?
      Lol Dats how we

    2. Seriously! 10m.why did they not allow me share in the bounty now before they took it away.
      i wonder how those banks make costly mistakes like that.
      Fun?lol. it's mostly exasperating when it happens and annoying when it blows over and they are best of friends again.
      I am like wtf?
      Lol Dats how we