Do you know how to talk?

Of course you do.
But if you are Nigerian, you probably have heard the words "He/She doesn't know how to talk" at one point or the other . In Yoruba language it's even better expressed as "ko mo oro so". (I don't know any Igbo/hausa/benin languages so pls pardon me).

Shuo! How person no go no how to talk again?
Help me ask them oh. Instead of them to say "he is rude"," he said what I don't like",  "he/she said what I
don't wanna hear", "has a big mouth"

Source

or "is a straight talker "they will say he/she doesn't know how to talk.
I am a bit of a straight talker myself. I don't like 'long thing'. keep it straight and to the point.
Yes! I have also being accused of not knowing how to talk ok.
Help me ask "them" which of these two scenarios qualifies me as not knowing how to talk.

 Scenario 1
At a party.
 Madam with big gele calls me "Ssssssssss! Ssssssss!Ore iyawo! Yes you! ! Help me get 2 plates of the jollof rice, fried rice, Goat meat,crabs,prawns, salad and a bottle of wine. Don't forget my souvenir".
Me: Innocently. "But ma,didn't you just eat five wraps of pounded yam and efo just now. My friend also gave you your souvenir pack as you entered the Venue".
Madam: gives me evil eye. Mutters to her friend. "This one doesn't know how to talk".
I hurry to get the food before somebody starts seeing madam 'big gele' in her dreams. I cannot shout.

Scenario 2
Telephone conversation with an annoying guy.
Him: Iyawo! Hi!
Me : I am not your iyawo. Your iyawo is probably still in Secondary school. Hope you can be patient for her to grow older sha?

Source

Him: *ignores me* Where are you?
Me: Somewhere.
Him: What are you doing?
Me: Nothing.
Him: You didn't reply my message?
Me: I think I saw it.
Him: Are you busy?
Me: Did I tell you I was busy?
Him: Can I take you out for lunch?
Me: I don't like eating with people. *is a lie oh*
Him: Ok!Sorry. When can I come over?
Me: Come over where?
Him: Your house
Me: To come do what?Am not around.* another lie*
Him: Ok!Help me greet my mother in law.tell her that her son in law Jide said you should be greeting her.
Me: Ehn! Son in law ko! Son in law ni. My mother is yet to know her son in law. Abeg goodnight.
*receives text 5 minutes later*   "You don't know how to talk".

Kai!what have I said now?

On a serious note though, some people do say hurtful things that do a lot of harm to the listening party's ego and psyche. I think those are the original owners of the "don't know how to talk" logo. They are the ones who tell a woman who has been married for five years without getting pregnant " I hope you are not doing family planning sha.Your mates children are already in Primary two."
They are also the ones who want to tell a man his wife is cheating on him and they first of all ask if he doesn't satisfy her in bed, or give her enough money, cos if not his wife won't be seen with another man in an hotel.


How about you? Do you know how to talk? Do you know someone who doesn't?
Are your words filled with vanilla, sugar,salt,ice or vinegar? or even worse pepper and petrol.lol

I don't like to talk alone oh. Lets share.
Post a comment (or two) below.