Thursday, 31 December 2015

Thank you so much

Before the year ends, I thought I better say Thank you to the best Blog visitors in the whole wide  world. Yes oh! That's what you all are.
No vex for me ehn! I loooooove you guys so much and you are always on my mind.

Happy New Year in advance. We will not bury any of us or our loved ones this year in Jesus Name.
How have you all been?
2015 was great for me. Learnt so much, and started doing more for God. So you can call me pastor. Hehehe. Just kidding.
Have to go now. Bye

Friday, 1 May 2015

Happy New Month

Hi guys!
 Yes I am still alive.
No! I did not abandon you ( seeing as I love you too much to do so).
Yes! I have missed you.
Yes! I went MIA but I missed you.
Have I said that I missed you? I have abi.

Happy New Month my Dearies.
May this MAY be great, wonderful and happy for us all. Amen.
This new quarter will usher in new testimonies in Jesus Name.

Ehn ehn! What have I been up to?
My Birthday was fun. All of you that forgot well done.
It was on a Sunday.And my office crew showed up even though they had barely a days notice. I wasn't really in a partying mood but it turned into a party with Cake and all. Although my colleagues will disagree sha cos there was no alcohol. They had to make do with Power horse and
All their threats no move me at all.
My boss showed up and people were quite surprised cos he rarely goes to people's events.
At work the next day a lot of guys were like "Oga came to your party!It is a lie! And you didn't invite us?"
Leaving me to explain that the man basically invited himself and no it wasn't a big party.

Oh and I got lots of presents. Including a weight scale. Yeah my friend said he got confused at the store and thought  It was good idea. If we weren't close I would have been all 'what exactly are you trying to say' but he was genuinely clueless so I let it slide.

Oh! And an Ipad from my ex. Every year he always gives me anything I want for my birthday (we broke up after my law school years ago and rarely even see) but this year I was forming big girl and didn't ask for anything.
It was kinda a surprise cos last year I said I wanted the money to buy an Ipad( you get my ijebu sense) which I spent.
So this year he must have decided to just get it for me. I was surprised sha and that's hard to do.

What else? I have been busy with court appearances. I don't know why they (High Court) called off their strike sef. Lol.
I was enjoying myself with just the Court of Appeal appearances only.
That Court of Appeal is so fine compared to that High Court. If running stomach mistakenly catch you for that High Court you are on your own niyen.

Today that is public Holiday now. No light. I dare not on the Gen with the less than ten litres petrol we have left.
And those wayo Nepa are bring light after 12am midnight and Taking it before dawn.
Wetin I wan use light do for midnight jare when I no be witch.
Even witches sef no need light for their meeting.
Thank God for power banks and my laptop.
As soon as I am done posting this, I am showering and then watching Game of Thrones.
Hey Harper! Have you seen Empire?

How was the election for you guys?
Did you vote? I didn't oh but me sef don defect go Apc now. Hehe.

It's like Mr Abuja has accepted his fate oh.
Imagine! He called me last week and  I told him that I have only been attending to him because I want to be polite and not cause friction cos we work together and we have to see each other whether we like it or not. And that if it were a normal guy I would have stopped picking his calls siiiiiiiiiiiiiiince.

It was like Magic. He started sulking and he stopped calling.
I couldn't believe my luck. This was someone that would call and call and send texts and just be annoying.
One day he got fed up and asked me "Do you want to marry at all"?
I almost gave him E-slap via the phone.
So lack of interest in him equals lack of interest in Marriage abi.
See how short lived the undying love he claimed was?

There are other gists but for the life of me I can't remember any now.
Shout out to all who missed me and asked after me one way or the other. Love you guys.
Obiamaka! Bia! How is the wedding planning going?
Favour sweetie! Hugs.
My main crew! You know yourselves now. I am heading to your blogs over the weekend.
For those who did not allow me rest a.k.a Duru.Well done!  Side eyes to Duru ( I am sure that guy cannot swim yet he was threatening me).
Don't think that your threat worked oh. You hia? Lol.

Toin! Toin!Toin! Shey I no go come collect fuel from your house like this? Hehe.
Ok bye guys.
See you soon.

 Post a comment below! Don't just run away. Let us what YOU think.

Friday, 6 March 2015

100th post

My long suffering BV'S who love me no matter what.
Abi I dey tell lie?
No abi!
Oya come and collect hugs and kisses.
Muah! Muah! Muah!
Love you guys a lot.
P.S! Those kisses were for una cheeks oh.
Anyone who raised his/her lips is on his/her own. Lol.

 Ehn/ehn! Before we get to the business of the day, how did you spend Valentines day?And where are my presents? I thought you guys liked me ehnn?
That Saturday,I went down my street oh and out of laziness i decided to take a cab home even though i could have just strolled down. Just N20 cab for you to know how short the distance was. That was how i entered one 419 cab oh or should i say cab with 419 guys inside.
You know those cabs where everyone inside is in on the scam?

Saturday, 7 February 2015

Wedding Gist

Ghen! Ghen!
Wedding Gist don arrive!
Photo Source
Never mind that it's February 2015 and the two brides ( my colleague and my cousin's wife) fit don get belle sef cos my colleague has started exhibiting some suspicious symptoms.
Even my cousin's wife sef I can't guarantee that she never get belle cos they dated for about seven years without having sex (as he said oh cos I wasn't kuku there).
Come to think of it oh my colleague too married as a virgin.

Anyway! Gist is gist nah! No matter how late.
Particularly amebo gist; Always relevant.Lol
(If you are lost just read the background here).

So we finally got to the wedding venue that morning after tailor drama and Jeep overheating drama.
Can you imagine that the tailor didn't finish my sisters gown until like 10am that morning.
And we were still traveling cos the wedding was out of town. My dad was quietly pissed.
The church was almost over by the time we arrived but we sha managed to show face which was the koko. Our immediate family was just giving us the looks of "Are you supposed to just  be coming to wedding when all your mates have arrived siiiiiince"
My mum had already gone the day before nah so I don't know what my own was.

I had the unenviable task of shuttling between two venues oh but luckily they were like 15 minutes apart so it was easy.

The reception for my Cousin was beautifully decorated and full of people (Politicians and heavily painted ladies looking to snare an aristo or two included)
Although with all the money wasted spent it couldn't be anything else but beautiful.
We barely managed to find seats and squeeze ourselves in the back seats. As in so close to the door that a few minutes later we would find ourselves outside. And by we,I am talking about the whole  crew(the grooms mother's whole family and friends ) her twin brother included.

However we all knew the koko before the
wedding so nobody squeeze face too much.
Afterall na my cousin want big wedding.

I am happy to announce that trays did not pass me by but that was not much to be happy about because there were too many orisirisi on the menu, about six or seven different meal combinations plus starters and deserts to be happy with the rice I ate.
I sha managed to grab ofada,fried rice and a few drinks for myself. I tried abi. Fish,juice and wine  was just passing me by. But I consoled myself with the rice and maltina in front of me.

Madam step mother was just prancing around
the hall frustrating all my aunt's

She no allow my aunt take any pic with her
(their )husband oh.
She made sure she photo bombed inserted herself  positioned herself into any picture of parents of the couple or grooms parents.
In short any picture where my aunt could be mistaken as her husband's wife,never mind that she was the groom's mother.

I am sure a lot of people mistook her for the groom's mother.
With the same clothes she wore with the groom's parents and all.
It was hilarious and sad at the same time.
I don't know how some people think but it's not
my mess so na dem sabi.

All the gifts that were given to the couple,my
cousin's father( on the prodding of madam step mother I am sure) took the expensive ones on
the grounds that they were given to him and not the son as it was his friends and fellow politicians that brought it.
The one that pained me pass is one big curved led screen tv that I saw.
That Tv was gigantic mehn.
So let's just say all the parties are now barely speaking to each other.

Cousin is mad at his dad for giving steppie so much room to make money from his wedding.
His mum is mad at the dad and steppie  for the embarrassment of having to ask steppie for food at her son's wedding and all the millions steppie was rumoured to have made.

The step siblings are mad at their dad for spending so much on their step brothers wedding when he didn't do so for them.
Step mum is mad at hubby for spending so much and inviting his mistresses to the wedding. And also because her kids are too young to get married and eat out of the national cake.

But honestly what were they expecting?
The man tried sef in the circumstances. He spent millions on that wedding.
He took over virtually all the expenses: Clothing for the couple,all the parents, decoration,hotel booking, food,cake, rings,
 aso ebi for the family,and ankara for the "mogbo moya"

My colleagues wedding was low key so no biggie. It was drama free.I was too full( with the rice lol) from my cousins wedding to eat there

By the time it was evening, I just carried all my property and informed anybody that was interested that I was going back home oh.
I felt a tad guilty for abandoning my folks cos my dad's vehicle needed to be seen to before it could travel but I just close eye and wished them bye bye.
My sister too followed me.
Disloyal daughters lol.

They ended up staying for about 3 days there before they eventually found the elusive part.
I was so happy I abandoned them. I don't like sleeping in beds that aren't mine jare.

And I have not heard from my cousin since then. Sigh!

99th post done.
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Prepare your questions, you could also email them to I will be sure to reply.

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Sunday, 1 February 2015

Thank God It's February!

Happy New Month Dearies!

It's the 'Falentine' month oh. Don't lie and tell me you have forgotten it's this month.

Monday, 26 January 2015

Public Declaration of Affection

Hi Guys!
No. This isn't about whether making out in Public is gross or not.
Rather, it's about Public Declaration of Affection. Otherwise called declaring our love for someone publicly especially on social media.

Monday, 12 January 2015

Looking for Mr/Miss Perfect

The truth is that a lot of people sabotage what they have all in that bid for a perfect partner.