Wednesday, 16 July 2014

Death took Her!

This post is all about a close friend who died. Nope not the one mentioned earlier here. Another one! Yep! And yes it does seem like my friends die a lot. But totally not my fault. I don't have any close female friends again as a result of that even though I have a wide range of girlfriends who look out for each other. But that one special close friend who you love and trust totally, No! I don't have any except maybe my sister. We are very close but she's a bit of a prude. Sex is the last thing she wants to talk about.

Anyway I have always being melancholic and a bit of a loner, content with a book for company. But it's hard to pass through the university without connecting to someone whether male or female.
I met Kay in my first year at the university. She was a few years older than I was and extremely pretty. So pretty she always attracted unwanted attraction from lecturers and older men who seemed to think she was out for a good time. However the reverse was the case. She was still a virgin. Our families knew each other and we regularly slept in each others houses. She loved Ex number three my then beau like a brother and the feeling was reciprocal. I could always trust her to tell me the truth and have my back.
 We dreamt of our future jobs, graduating, law school, how we would make a lot of money and enjoy life, our wedding days and how gorgeous we would look.

Sadly none of her dreams ever came to reality as she died shortly before we graduated.
That was my first major emotional encounter with death. People died!i know but somehow it never seemed real or I hadn't yet formed deep ties with the person.
This time around it was real.A sudden sickness, spanning just seven days.And suddenly her brother called that she was dead and I should hurry if I didn't want to miss the burial.
I was in a state of shock.She was buried late at night. Her brother broke down when he saw me.He wanted to open the Coffin for me to "look at your friend, she's dead".
I am so thankful he didn't. I think the memory of her lifeless body would have kept flashing in my mind all my life.
I have never recovered from her death. It still brings me real pain to talk about her to anyone. Such a glorious destiny cut short by death.
Not a picky person like me,she would have been married by now. With a kid or two or three, a badass lawyer causing trouble with her good looks.i miss her so much and wish she was still alive. Wish my husband to be and kids would have gotten to meet her.

But life has to go on.
One result of her death is that I don't dismiss any news of death or an obituary. There was a time in my life when I could not  care less about who died,but ever since that day in February 2005,i take a minute or two to think about the pain the people left behind are going through, the circumstances of death and take time to say a prayer for fortitude for them.
This is cos I remember how numb I felt in the weeks following her death. I was near death myself.
I had to put off school for a week or so and travel back home.There I regained a bit of my sanity.
I have moved on,but will never forget.


  1. Sorry for ur loss! Had a roomie in school who I loved so much like a sis too. Made me see Law* as a piece of cake. The only one my boo liked as my friend bk then. But death took her away during nysc! After all her 2.1's (uni n lawsch)! Still miss her n get a face flash of her. May she continue to rest in d Lord's bossom!

  2. Thank you.
    Your friend must have been very brilliant.2.1 in law school no be beans.
    Sorry for your loss.It must have been painful.