Tuesday 2 September 2014

Long Distance Relationships

Hi guys, Are you still enjoying the euphoria of the new month or are you over it already?
Me! I am still very happy that it's September oh.

Today, We are going to talk about long distance relationships.
Pic Source
Y'know! That unfavourable situation where you and le Boo/le Babe are in different Continents at worst and different States at best. hehehehehehehe.

 I read a funny post on a blog yesterday where the writer was like that it's not only inter State/Country love that qualifies as long distance relationship.
She was of the view that Mowe-IkoroduBadagry-Epe,  Festac-Ejigbo (Areas in Lagos very far from each other)  relationships also qualifiy as long distance love. lmao.
I am not talking about that kain one oh.I am talking the real deal here.
One where Le Boo/ Le Fiancé or girlfriend/Fiancee lives in one country or state while the other party lives in another AND you don't see each other for months or even years.
There are so many sure characteristics of LDR (abeg manage the shortened form, i don tire to dey type long tin).
1) You rarely get to see each other as much as you want to.
2) Lots of phone calls/chats/skyping/sexting.
Awwwwwwww!
3) Lots of traveling.

4) Insecurities arise a lot. Is he cheating?.......Is she cheating?........Am I wasting my time? .....Whose
female voice did I hear in the background?.... She sounded funny.... etc.

It takes a lot of work to keep a LDR going. No be task for the lazy and unwilling at all at all.
Relationships are hard enough when you it isn't long distance.
Adding distance to the mix just complicates an already unpredictable terrain.


 Just in case you are wondering how I got to know what happens in LDR.

Simple!I was once in one and it wasn't fun at all. Not least because I was still a student and it was not easy being faithful when there were so many temptations and I had no idea what 'he' was up to where he was.
Friends don't help matters. Particularly when he or she is out of the country. Its always "Do you know what he is doing abroad? Probably married to a white woman and you are here playing Ruth.Better give other guys a chance so you don't lose out entirely".lol.  Girls and their bad mouths.
But one can't blame them entirely sha. Stories abound of women who were left bitterly disappointed when the guy traveled to obodo oyinbo and jilted them after years of dating.

Me! I can still manage long distance relationships. I think.

The one I can't even manage is long distance marriage,Where I will be in one country and Hubby will be another one. For where? That won't work for me at all at all oh. No matter what. I just don't like that idea at all.Even inter state LDM sef I no fit. I see a lot of couples I know, the husband is in Abuja or Lagos,the wife is in the opposite end, they see each other once a month or twice if they can afford it.
Although to be fair,most times they can't help it if Work or education commitments do them part but still!
The strain on the marriage is always much particularly when they are a young couple.

So what's your view on Long Distance Relationship? Did it work for you or anyone you know?
Can it work out?
Can you have a Long Distance Marriage?
Post a comment below. Its always nice to read your opinions.

Photo Source- weheartit.com

32 comments:

  1. Long distance relationships might work and
    might not depending on the individuals
    involved. Take for example, a career oriented
    man who's always busy chasing his dream and travelling around to make sure his business or that of his companies grows and developes and is married. If he has an understanding wife/ partner who trusts and understands him
    knowing full well the nature of his job, she
    might persevere. Also married couples could undergo such torture if one or both couples find themselves apart for some reason known to them same with Military wives and their husbands. Where a long distance relationship might not work is when one or both parties might not return for some reason unknown to them. Take for example, you meet someone online or via any social networking site and you both hit it off immediately and you began dating knowing the distance between you guys being one of the individual in that kind of relationship is thousand of miles and ocean away in another far country and that individual has no reason to leave to meet you for whatever personal reasons being it work or some personal stuff and you on the other hand don't think of ever relocating. On such scenerio, long distance relationships would never work. So like I have said, it all depends on the couples and their willingness to make sacrificies and the type of relationship they are in i.e marriage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right. It may or may not work depending on the individuals involved and their commitment and motivation to keeping the relationship working.

      Delete
  2. I was in a Long Distance Relationship and I know that it ain't easy at all! I think it's more difficult to resolve conflicts and bond, particularly when you start that way.
    Also, it is very expensive! lol (thank God for Skype and Facetime etc) but when you talk about phone calls, visits, gift (postage, delivery lol)... It's a lot more difficult.
    It's possible but you have to be ready for it and be veryyyy communicative!
    As for LDMs.. What?!! No way! I know sometimes one can't help it but as much as possible NO!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ayo! Yep! The Bonding is the most difficult aspect if you start a relationship that way.
      I have noticed that it's easier if the couple didn't start with a LDR but have already been together for a while. They have bonded,they have studied each other and related well.
      But when you meet on a flight or via matchmaking and you start a LDR,it may not be so easy.

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    2. Long distance rshp/marriage, I bind it for me IJN! I cannot cope with it for a 2nd. Even travelling for a long course say 6mnths plus, Hmmmm; I just can't!

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    3. Long distance rshp/marriage, I bind it for me IJN! I cannot cope with it for a 2nd. Even travelling for a long course say 6mnths plus, Hmmmm; I just can't!

      Delete
    4. I am also binding it for you here jare.
      If you can't cope,you can't just cope.

      Delete
  3. so i got to knw abt ds blog via ur comment on sdk blog and can i jst say i luv ds blog already?? i read all d posts in lyk an hour or so! yes all!! azzin i can totally relate..mayb cuz i av alot of melancholy in me too sha.keep it up ma'am..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep!we melancholic people have to stick together.lol
      Thanks for the compliment and for coming by. I really appreciate it.
      All the posts in one hour. Waoh!

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  4. L DR is not for me oh. I don't think I can cope. But if I find myself in such a place, na to ask God for the grace to pull through while I seek transfer.
    Vira
    www.lifeasvira.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My ever practical Vira.i trust you to find solution. hehehe.
      How are you doing?

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    2. Lol! I am good my darling, I am waiting for 1st date gist with Mr. Cute guy oh.

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    3. Hahaha.
      Seeing as he is in your town and i am in mine,that wont happen for a very long time.

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    4. In that case, I better start praying they send u down for more training cz I want gist and maybe we could hook up. Whatchu think?

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    5. Lol. Praying and fasting.
      Sure thing. Would let you know when it happens ok.

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    6. Cool. I sent you an email. Seen?

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    7. VIRAAAA? Seen oh. Smh at the randomness of life.

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  5. It takes a whole lots of commitments being in an LDR. it's all up to the two people involved.
    LDRs may be cool but all these long distance marriages that I hear of is a NO NO. the man will be in USA and his wife will be in Nigeria and they get to see once in 2 years...hian! It is well o. I can't stomach that but then it's up to the individuals involved.
    Thanks for the blog ad and dropping by at www.graciemama.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are welcome @graciemama.
      I agree! Its a Maybe to LDR and capital NO to LDM.

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  6. Was in a long distance marriage situation o, still married but we now live together. Abeg sometimes I wish we still live apart joor

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol. I guess you got used to having your own space.

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  7. I don't think I can cope, but it depends on my partner sha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oga Vic at the very top.
      At least you are being truthful.

      Delete
  8. Long distance relationships are not for the faint hearted, my dear, but, it's worth it. To make it work, both have to be willing and there has to be a lot of compromise. I am currently in a long distance relationship and I wouldn't want it any other way, my dear. He understands me which is very importantI! Hopefully, this Christmas, we shall do something about it, and by April.................

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. A fainthearted person won't be able to cope and it can't be one sided. Both of them have to commit.
      Amen and Amen. Me I want wedding invitation sha. Thats my own.

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  9. Grace carried me for 3 years LDR while dating my husband and almost 2 years LDR after marriage. *sigh*...It just had to be the grace of God!

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  10. Nods in agreement.
    Grace of God na im be the koko.
    Without it,me sef can't guarantee LDR or LDM.

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  11. My LDR worked...was in it for years and I think it has not ended yet. LOL. As long as two people agree upon a thing...they can make it work! I've written a lot about LDR on my blog

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    Replies
    1. Of course it worked for you. Lol.
      You were one of the people I had in mind when writing this. That was why I sounded positive about it.
      End ke! By the grace of God it can never end oh.
      I have read most of them if not all.
      Thanks for coming by Yemisi. Big Hug.

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  12. I was in a LDR than ended in a LDM for a couple of months. Its not easy though but it is very workable if both partners are on the same page.

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    Replies
    1. its always nice to hear about the people that coped with it and it ended up in marriage just like Sisi Yemmie,Gee and others.

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