Tuesday, 9 September 2014

That Awkward Moment

That awkward moment when you are in church and suddenly,and for no apparent reason your chest starts itching you.
It needs one of those scratches of life where you feel so darn good after as if you have gotten the cure to ebola. Hehehehe.
You look left and right but there's no way to stylishly scratch it.
You try to do so codedly from outside the top you are wearing but Nope! That bra is dulling you.Its not giving you good access.
You try to ignore it but you have never been the one to withstand pain/discomfort/itching.
You can't concentrate again. Your mind is on 'scratching' that itch.

Finally! The pastor asks everyone to close their eyes and pray.
The happiness! The joy!
Finally you get to scratch.
You bend down stylishly,  dip your hands inside and scratch and feel so much better.
Oh! The relief!
Then you look left and notice the fine boy on your left giving you a wtf look.
You feel embarrassed at first.

Kai! Disgrace! I hope this guy doesn't memorise my face oh.
But then you wonder.
Simple instruction. "Close your eyes".
That is how people fail exams. Why he open eye in the first place?
The embarrassment fades jare and you bone face.
Na him sabi.
That na the kain thing you go see when you no close your eyes in church.
#ok bye.
                                        The End.

P.S. What have we learnt from this story?
Let's talk about your awkward moment?

Photo Credit.www.jtanddale.com


  1. That awkward moment Your hand touches a woman ass by mistake and you are not sure if you should apologise or pretend like you didn't notice.

    That awkward moment Me and Harper keep checking your blog and no new post till yesterday.

    That awkward moment. When you're in a deep thought and 3 minutes later you realize that you've been staring @ someone

    That awkward moment when your kindness is mistaken for flirt
    That awkward moment when you try to shake someone hand and he refuse to bring is hand out and you where like UrrrrRrrrh hehehe

    The Awkward Moment When The Lift Doors
    Don't Open Immediately And You Become
    Scared That You'll Be Trapped Forever.

    The Awkward Moment When You Wake Up
    Before Your Friend At Their House And Have
    No Idea What To Do To Pass Time Until They
    Wake Up.

    1. Godwin! This one na Awkward Momentsssssssssssss.
      That lift thingy ehn!Nepe took light one time,i almost fainted.
      Lol at 1 and 3.
      Sorry about 2.
      As per the last one, try to go read your bible ehn. Hehehe.

    2. Godwin my guy, laugh don nearly kill me for here! I concur with No. 2. How body? - Harper

  2. That awkward moment when a guy asks 'can i meet you?' and you misinterpret thinking he wants to meet you physically, and you reply in your meanest voice 'sorry i dont meet strangers' and he is like 'madam calm down, i meant your name' choi!

    1. Lol. But that guy sef! What happened to "What's your name?

  3. That awkward when you see someone waving and you think it's you so you wave back then you see the person staring back at you one kain

    1. Lol. You go just keep waving till the person is forced to wave back.

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  5. lollll.....that awkward moment when you need to fart in church..and you hope and pray its a silent one, but it turns out to be a loud one and everyone around turns around to look at you *supposedfinegirl*

    1. Those farts and stomach rumblings in public places can disgrace somebody ehn! Me too I just turn around looking for who farted even though I know it was me.

  6. Lmao! That awkward moment when u r firing a babe and she starts moaning "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" WTF?! - Harper

    1. Toh! I know your own awkward moment will be different.
      That was how ur twinnie told me one of his babes always begged to be spanked during sex.
      I was like Wtf. What kind of babes do u roll with anyway.
      So seeing as I like gbeborun. Did you continue the firing after the "daddy"? *runs away.
      P.S What did u bring back for me and And how was the trip?

    2. Wetin man go do? I hesitated for a moment and thought "WTF?", then continued firing. Lol! Spanking is so normal now that it doesn't qualify as awkward anymore. Trip was good, thanks. I brought myself back for u. U want? Hehe... - Harper

    3. Lol @ Continued. I would v been too spooked to continue.
      U think u are smart abi. What will I do with you far far away. At least u can DHL stuff.
      Tyrant is awesome so far. I don't Know if the heavy Arab theme will be popular with American Audiences though.
      When r u Starting BBad?I hope u didn't do me 419.

    4. I actually started with Game of Thrones. Almost done with the first season. Not bad at all! Tyrant ruffled quite a few American feathers, I assure u. But it has developed quite a cult following too. Enjoy! For DHL, I'll need ur real name, address......and picture! Hehe.... - Harper

    5. Not bad at all or freaking awesome.
      Say the truth.
      And you know what!it gets even better. Season 3 and four were off the hook.
      No need now. Shebi na Dhl.U can send to my friends address.
      As for pic! Really? When did Dhl start asking for that one?
      HARPER!how many times did I call u?

    6. It's actually approaching awesome, I'll admit. Can't wait for the weekend so I can continue. My own DHL dey ask for picture o! Lol! Shebi na u want wetin I bring back. Hehe... U called me only once, even though na capital letters u take call me! lol If u come know my real name nko? Lmao! - Harper

    7. Yay! At least you admitted it.
      So! You maybe want to tell me your real name. You know I am your padi now. Then I can call it more than once.

    8. I'd be happy to! Right after u tell me yours :) - Harper

    9. I'd be happy to! Right after u tell me yours :) - Harper

    10. Really! You no try at all at all at all.
      Yep!i said it thrice.
      Must I show u mine for me to see yours ni. We no dey primary school again now. Abi! Mr Harper!

  7. You wanna talk about the day i fell in the chairman's office?
    well, it was more embarrassing than awkward.
    That awkward when you wave at someone and they don't wave back and you just decide to clean your face.

  8. Kai! Vira! Chairman's office. Pele dear. Although I have got to ask if na six inch shoe you waear. Hehehe.
    Hope someone at least told you sorry.
    Lol @ clean face.

    1. Ehen na. Na to just clean face pass. ...my dear no 6 inch shoes oh. Story for another day.

    2. Story for another day then.Me I wan hear oh.
      Y do people even pretend not to know somebody. Temporary amnesia?Feeling too cool to answer?

  9. hope we are permitted to laugh! hahahahahahahahahahahahah But you should have gone to the rest room nah, abi does your church have Armed soldiers as ushers ni??? lmao. hjeheheheheh

    1. Lol, like you, I would have gone to the rest room, and scratched it like crazy. I cannot imagine taking that risk!

    2. I no wan walk the long distance to that rest room jare.Besides theres nothing I hate more than parading the church when there is a service.
      At times when I want to pee sef I hold it just cos I no wan do parade.
      The church is a big one.

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  11. Waoh! Thanks for coming by.
    Was by your blog and found that it's has been removed. Whathappun?