He's just what you have always wanted, all you have ever fantasized and dreamed about.
He could be dark, tall, short, lean, bulky,muscular, and gorgeous,mysterious, may be rich or just ok, kind, treats women well, loves God etc.
His smile is to die for.
You already fantasize about being his wife and having his kids.
He is perfect for you and loves the same thing you do.
Yep! For some weird inexplicable reason, He just isn't really feeling you.
Has that ever happened to you or anyone you know?
The guy may even have been the one to make the first move oh. And the babe is already happy that Mr Right decided to stop taking the 'molues' that made him arrive so late and finally arrived.
She starts dreaming about him and the unthinkable happens?
He stops calling or worse doesn't pick her calls.
Some guys have the courage to tell her upfront that they aren't feeling her, but most of them say it through their actions. They don't tell the babe and she starts wondering......
"What did i do"?
"Is he gay? "Does he think i am ugly? "Are my boobs too small? "Was it the chicken bones i crushed to pieces on our date" or " is it cos i told him i have had lots of lovers". lmao.
Nothing oh.... The bobo no just feel am..
Basically, the guy no just feel the babe, and its nothing she did. She might be the most gorgeous, lovable, creamiest chick, but he just isn't feeling her.
However it doesn't only happen in first date instances oh.
It also happens in relationships.
Now the guy might want sex, and so might maintain the semblance of dating. That is the babe is the only one in the relationship. She basically does the work, and the guy gets to have sex.
He's always 'busy",Never shows up on dates, starts dodging the poor babe, sometimes flaunts his other chicks in the hope that she will somehow get the message.
Once in a while he behaves but he still doesn't really like her, or even treat her well.
It doesn't ever end well cos the bobo never really liked her.
Me, i don't waste time. I might be attracted to you, i might like you a lot, Heck!i may even fantasize. But i won't fall for a guy if he isn't into me.
Even if we are dating and i notice the tiniest, subtlest, change in affection or concentration, me sef just give am space for my mind and the love or whatever i feel just goes small by small.
There are too many guys around for that kain thing, abeg.
Although to be fair, that is probably easy cos i have only loved genuinely one and a half times.(One for my ex and half for another ex). Don't ask me how half is possible. I no be mathematician. hehehe
But it used to puzzle me a lot cos it was a regular occurrence with my friends. That is until i came across the book of the above title a few years ago.
Suddenly it made perfect sense. I wanted to send it to all my friends so they would stop coming to cry "what did i dooooooooo?"
Written by former Sex and the City writer Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, this book debunks many of the myths that women create about men and dating.
The bottom line is that men are not complicated and there are no mixed messages. If he doesn't ask you out, call you soon after a date, or want to come inside with you after a date, then he's just not that into you.The book was so hugely popular that it was made into a movie.
“The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.”
You see there's hardly anything a woman can do when a man just isn't into her. And this goes for men too .
It works both ways.
If it manages to become a relationship, it never works out. The woman does all the work, and is often taken for granted.
The weird thing is that you don't only see this trend at the dating or relationship level.
In some instances, marriages do happen, probably the woman traps the guy through pregnancy or some other shenanigans. And even an outsider can see that the man 'Just isn't that into his wife" and you wonder how she missed the signs.
Tomorrow, i am gonna bring you some aptly aweome quotes from the book.
But today, here are some signs when a guy just isn't into you.
1. He takes forever to text or email you back
2. He maintains physical and emotional distance
3. He never comes over to your house.
4)He avoids touching you in public.
Although some guys don't like public affections. so don't go and sack your boyfriend oh just cos he didn't return that kiss you gave him by the road side.
5)He rudely shoots down your ideas.
6)He only sees you after mid night.
One word! Booty Call.
7)He wont let you leave things at his house.
Now who does this remind me of? Hmmmmmmmmmmm?
8)He attends major events without you.
Yep! Like his parents anniversary party, his sisters wedding, his best friends birthday party.
9)He refuses to make future plans with you. Short term or long term.
You know the type where you are like 'what are we doing next week' And he mutters" nothing".
10) He flakes out on plans you do have at the last minute.
11)He's already involved with someone else.
Hmmmm! I kinda have to disagree a little. It all depends on the context.
12)He pulls a disappearing Act for days,weeks and even months.
The only excuse a guy has for disappearing is that Boko Haram kidnapped him. And i need evidence.
13)He doesn't seem that interested in intimacy.
That one na sure sign cos a typical guy always wants sex whether hes serious or not.
14)He encourages you to date other people.
Toh. I REST MY CASE
2. He maintains physical and emotional distanc
He maintains physical and emotional distance
He maintains physical and emotional distan