Thursday, 18 September 2014

Letting it out

As human beings, we are all prone to a wide variety of emotions: Anger, Rage, Hurt, Disgust, Frustration, Grief etc.

No matter how stoic you may be, you still get to feel at least one of these emotions occasionally.
So my question is this. How do you let these emotions out?
Some people scream,shout,fight, resort to violence, box, go for a run or some other physically exerting activity, write, cry , have sex or  withdraw into themselves for a while.

There are some cab drivers or bank attendants that ehn! It is so easy to know that they are frustrated because of the way they lash out.
You start wondering why they didn't sort out their issues before resuming work that day.

Now, as for me, crying is a natural outlet for me especially when it comes to grief or loss.
But when it comes to hurt, i am unlikely to show any emotion.

Concerning anger, i used to be this cool, and calm character. Nothing fazed me but suddenly i noticed that lately  i have very low tolerance level and get angry  easily. That's not such a good thing so i am learning to control it.
However I do notice that when i let it out its easier to move on. But when i keep it inside, it simmers steadily then erupts.
If i am disgusted, no poker face for that one oh. You will know immediately. I can't just pretend.

Rage is when i am deathly quiet. Those who know me well know enough to stay away until i calm down. If you as much as touch me or utter a statement during this brief period, Hmmmmm! Lemme not talk further. Rage however isn't something I feel often.

In short ehn! The good thing is that it takes a while before i feel any of this emotions. In my opinion it shouldn't be an everyday thing. Or what do you guys think?

I worry for people who don't let out their emotions,keeping it in and  bottling it in for a long time.
Some are afraid to show any sign of vulnerability.

Then one day they explode.
And it's like a volcano.
The person at the end of the tirade is usually bewildered. Like Wtf? What on earth did  i do?
Not comprehending that months and years of suppressed emotions are suddenly being let out.

It even has bad endings sometimes. In some cases, abused women suddenly reach their limit and kill their partners, victims of sexual abuse suddenly snap and kill their abusers because they couldn't take it any more.

So! lets talk.
How do you let out the emotions you feel.
Are you a screamer and all is well?
Or you plot revenge quietly?
Do you punch the wall,cry or run?
Or you have a great poker face?

Hey guys! I guess you have noticed that Tibsy has been MIA which is unlike her. She hasn't even updated her blog like she normally does.
Anyway she is a little under the weather so you guys should give her a shout out in your comments so she can read it now or later when she gets better ok.

Here's mine.
Me, Oga Vic, Harper,Godwin,Vira, Obiamaka,Zoe, Duru,Ayo, Amaka, Ms Cookie, Tosyne, Esther,TeeTee Wright, Moby,Ugo, some people I am sure I forgot and all the Anonymous(es).hehehe
Wish you quickest recovery.
Big Hug Dearest.

Photo Credits.


  1. I agree about not keeping it in. The explosion may be bad for everyone around u, urself inclusive. I guess everyone needs to find what works for them. For me it's sex (I'm sure u knew that, Ms. Reese) and fast driving. I actually belong to a racing club that owns a track and I go out about once a month just to explode with my right foot. Brilliant therapy! Almost as good as sex.....almost...hehe

    Tibsy baby, hurry up and get well. Life's not the same without ur bazookas! :) - Harper

    1. Lol!I did not know that oh. Mr Harper. Though I should have guessed abi. For me sex is not a release.
      Keeping it in can be very dangerous jare. So explode all you can. pun unintended oh. Hehe

    2. Lmao! Baaaad girl! :) - Harper

  2. For me I'm this exploding type (in warri way as E dey hot ooo heheh) I'm not this quite type when I'm angry oo. I can cause earthquake, I give it to you there and then and let the rest becomes an History. But I have realise its a sign of strength to me and it actually works cause some folks can be so annoying sometimes and there's a saying that a closed mouth is a closed destiny hehehe, so me no dey close my mouth hehehe. People bottle up emotion for numerous reasons; whether be it they can’t fight back due to the situation, for example, your boss or teacher/lecturer is giving you a rough time about something, you can’t fight back against them. Some people think that if they show emotion, others will think they’re weak. Some just worry about what everyone will think. Others think they should feel a certain way and make themselves appear to be that way to be ‘normal’. One may go through a traumatic event that can trigger it, they go into shock and don’t know how to deal with what they are or aren’t feeling. They may not want to bother others with their issues, or don’t want to tell anyone because they won't understand’. And some just simply do it not to hurt others. To me letting your emotions out is the best, I don't care who you're at that moment I give it to you there and then and take my mind out of it.

    Tib's I wish you quick recovery, I emailed yesterday concerning ur health hoping to get a reply all the same it is well with you

    1. Hmmm! Prof! Succinct as usual.
      You suppose dey lecture.You have highlighted most of the reasons why people might keep things in.
      My boss messes up sometimes but it makes more sense to keep it in. I just hope one day all the resentment doesn't build up and I "explode" and she will be baffled.
      Traumatic event, not wanting to be known as weak, people not understanding are some of the reasons people keeping it in.
      Letting it out is the best sha.but as you have said not always the case.

  3. My sweetheart is getting better. I've told her she must blog till she's fine.
    Uh, growing up I had a temper and am not proud to say this but my mum used to be scared of me because I once poured hot tea on my brother in a fit of rage. You don't want to know my escape route back in the days but one thing is I hardly cry when am hurt except I want to act for you.
    Thankfully I've been able to control my temper now so what I do mostly is let out q stream of obscenities as I swear a lot or lock myself in my room or read my Sidney Sheldon or Clive cussler.

    1. Amaka! Hot water? My mum would have scalded me with that same hot water. She no dey joke oh when we were growing up.
      Those two are my favorite authors also. Novels were more of an escape when I was going thru stuff.
      i can't read when I am angry or pissed. The words will just be dancing.
      Safe trip dear.

  4. Hmm the only way i know how to express myself when am unhappy or upset is to cry! nd it annoys me sumtyms ehn! i av too much melancholy in me jare. sumtyms i wanna yell and bone face and act all unconcerned lyk my younger sis bt my lacrimal glands will not allow oh. so i tend to walk away frm outbursts cz i knw i'll stil goan do my crying in private after attempting to scream or shout at the offender.

    Get well soon Tibsy.

    1. Hey Tee. My partner in melancholy.
      My sister too isn't the emotional type as well but she can vex for Africa.
      Thanks for reaching out to Tibsy.

  5. I can't say cos am so unpredictable.
    Get well soon mami, miss you much

  6. I can't say cos am so unpredictable.
    Get well soon mami, miss you much

  7. Hmmmmm....when Am angry I play games on my phone....Ya team candy alternative is, if Am angry and I wanna talk but u ain't allowing me to talk....OMG.....I will cry my eyes out....I can cry for well soon madam tibs I Am missing you....MOMENT WITH ZOE

    1. Hey Zoe!
      When I am angry games are the last thing I want to play.
      Anger and tears are rather close to each other.

  8. Letting it out is very necessary - I think it hurts more when you bottle it up. Some people cry, others resort to violence, etc - Different people deal with things differently. I let it out by crying, staying in my room all day and refusing to eat - I listen to music and read the Bible.

    Get well soon, Tibs - We love you so very much xxxxxxxxxxxxx

  9. Very necessary. I quite agree.
    As for me music is more for when I am very happy and relaxed or when I am sad and I get some morose sounding music to make me even sadder. lol
    Tibs is really feeling the love from all you guys. Thanks for all your comments. God bless.

  10. When I was younger, used to bottle up a lot. Had a sis dt used to annoy me n hurt me bad ( and I jst never wntd her to feel sad for some reason I dnt knw)! Till oneday, I bursted in my late teenage yrs! Couldn't bliv it myself n she ws shocked aswell cos she didn't see it coming. Buh it was terrrrriiiiibbbbbblllleeeee...

    Since then, I don't bottle up jack! I let it all out as it is. And my life's been so smooth n peaceful since then! And yes, I screaammm @ u or walk away n go cry somewhere (but u sure must get like 2puncher words when i'm bk)

  11. Your sis must have had the surprise of her life when you reacted.
    Lol @ 2 puncher words. I do that sometimes.

  12. Hmm, letting it out. when i was younger, if i'm angry at my younger ones, i'll just be shaking with the anger so much that as i'm shouting, i'm crying. my parents would then make fun of me: see this egbon crying for her aburos. kai! the thing dey pepper me ehn.
    these days, i shout when pissed or listen to music or just drown out the voice (esp my mum's hala-ing). the day i resign totally from my present job, chai! i will so give my jerk of a boss a big piece of my mind. dude won't know what hit him! Ada