Monday, 26 January 2015

Public Declaration of Affection

Hi Guys!
No. This isn't about whether making out in Public is gross or not.
Rather, it's about Public Declaration of Affection. Otherwise called declaring our love for someone publicly especially on social media.

Now when I was growing up,it was hard to write mushy words in public or gush about your better half or bestie via writing publicly simply because there was no social media.

Yep! No Facebook, Instagram, Bbm, Twitter or Blogger.
I remember having to write out letters to my parents who was in London and giving it to the only person I knew who had Internet connection to type and email to my dad. This was pre Internet cafes oh.
The embarrassment of someone reading what i
 wrote was modified by the fact that my dad would get it immediately as opposed to NIPOST.

So! As I was saying, short of advertising in the papers, erecting a giant billboard, granting a newspaper interview or phoning in during a radio programme there was hardly any way to tell the world that you love your boo to death and cannot live with out him/her.

However! Social media has now given us world to chop (Interpret in yoruba for maximum effect lol).
It's easy to (cheaply) gush about someone you love, your husband or wife or boo. Its easy to celebrate our parents, siblings, kids, colleagues, friends etc.
However it's also easy to get people jealous,pissed,irritated, envious and attract attention to an otherwise good thing.

In fact some people don't hide their irritation and caution the writers immediately either out of jealousy or good intentions.
Especially if the writer/poster isn't married to the mushy/gush recipient. You see words like "I pity you, Men are not trustworthy", "Wait for him to marry you first","Why is he always on your Dp and you are not on his"?etc.

Personally, I cringe a little for the writer if such relationships end up failing but I see nothing wrong in gushing about someone if the love is 'shacking' you at the moment.
Cos let's face it: A relationship will fail if it will fail.
Attributing such 'break ups' to 'PDA' isn't necessary. Although there's such a thing as over exposure.

It may be a little embarrassing having to tell the people one gushed to that it didn't work out.
Seriously! Nollywood and Hollywood celebs have gotten it to a Tee.
Imagine declaring undying love in December and announcing in January that you are divorcing that same "love of your life"
To make matters worse, words live forever on the web. But at least it's better to be true to one's feelings.

Besides! stuff happens even between friends.
That I had friends I publicly celebrated before we fell out doesn't mean I didn't love them at the moment or mean what I wrote at the time.
Sure! I may not feel that way about you now. But that second, minute, hour, day and instance,i wanted the people around me to know that I cared for this or that person.

So here's my take especially when it comes to relationships or husbands/wives.
Keep it simple, keep it sweet, don't nauseate the readers, keep information to the minimum
(seriously I don't need to know about your sex life or your pillow talk), don't bore, don't exaggerate.

I came across this articles after I wrote this post.
Too late to add them so just go read them up.
Very apt.


So Guys! What's your take? Are you the public declarative type?
Do you write as its doing you 'gish gish'? Do you like to read when others write it?
Does it make you feel good when others praise you publicly or declare their love or affection?

Post a comment below!
 Let's know what YOU think.

Photo source:


  1. I'm not one for social media PDA for relationships. I might mention something but "all out" isn't my thing.

    1. Yeah! Me too. Its turned out to be a wise decision cos I can imagine all the questions I would have gotten when the relationships didn't work out.

  2. I am not one for PDA and def not going the social media route either....I am just too private for that.

    1. Yeah!Especially social media.
      My facebook page is as pristine as anything when it comes to relationships oh. I can't shout abeg or do defense.
      However I can go all out for family and friends.

  3. No, I'm not one for social media display of affection. An ex used to complain. Especially because he always had mine up on his DP most of the time. I used to put his pic up only when he starts small talks about cheating on him blablabla.
    LMAO @ HAS NOW GIVEN US WORD TO CHOP. fun wa loro so

    1. No mind him jare. Sounds like emotional blackmail to me.
      Some people feel validated and important when you rave about them in public. And to me it's just weird.

  4. I'm not against public declaration of affection but I refuse to that. I'm in a serious relationship and we are planning to get married before the year runs out - I love him so much but I would never declare my love for him on social media - I might do that when we get married but I doubf it. I'm a private person, and I do not want people to think they have the right to give me advice

    1. Hmmm! Love wantintin.
      Iyawo to be. How's the planning going?
      Yep! Thats another disadvantage. People feel they need to or can give you advice just because it's out there.

    2. Lol @ love wantintin - not easy at all but we will get there (I think I need a wedding planner). That's only if you let them!

    3. Pele!
      It is well. I guess the stress is part of the fun in planning a wedding.
      Just take it easy and delegate what you can.
      You could also ask people who did theirs in your desired location for the tried and tested vendors they used.

  5. Hmmmnnn Oossshhhey! Funmi toh Sure has landed again :).. Thank GOD she didnt leave us for long oh! I was beginning to Fia! already sef. :) lmao.. Mehn baby mi, I think there is nothing and I mean Nothing wrong with PDA as regards social media.. I mean you were in love, you put the person out there.. If it didnt work then it didnt work just as you said... I mean why start to make it feel like you did yourself wrong.. Bubba the world is moving at such a fast pace, so lets move along with it and show the world that we love when we love biko.. I for one take my Instagram account as nothing more than a photo album, and a means to inspire. When i feel all mushied up or bored, i scroll through it.. I mean i still appreciate looking at Jildas photos cause i still love her and all.. Anyways I guess it all boils down to the individual, but I for one dont see it as a biggie... If you love, then love with all your heart and put the person out there, Dance like no one is watching and love like no one else knows how to. Its that simple. Cheers Bubba.. Its always fun to read from you Funmi.. You have an interesting mind biko.. I wanna be like thee when I grow up. xx **Shines teeth

    1. Lol! No need to fia.
      So what I love the most about you (apart from your over excitement hehehe) is that your breakup with WJD doesn't make you deny that you loved her and love her still.
      I hate it when people break up and all of a sudden the other party was a demon they never loved. Whatever happened to all the good times and memories?

  6. Social media affection is a No No for me. I think its lame. I don't want to know the deets of your relationship so keep the info to yourself!

    1. Lol! I guess some people feel the need to share every detail with the world whether you want to hear it or not.
      And Welcome!

  7. PDA is never a good idea. How many people could I possibly declare for at the same time? Hehehe....

    Seriously though, would u be doing that to convince urself or to confuse the other party? Why is the world so important to ur relationship?


    1. Haha! You can declare for them all nah and start world war 4.
      Hmmm! Question!
      I guess it's more of a convincing and validation thing than that of confusing the other party.
      The thing now is who needs convincing?
      The person ,the partner or the world?

  8. Diff strokes for diff folks. Anything that rocks your boat. I can't say yes or no. Its jus depends on a lotta factors. If he's my hubby. Emm.. Once in a while. Buh if he's a bf no bloody way buh I can use poems wifout including his name.

    1. I think once in a while for PDA is not bad.
      You can say the rest verbally to him/her if you must.
      Lol @ poems. All ye poets!
      I can't write a poem to save my life. Although to be fair I have never tried to.

  9. I'd say whatever rocks your boat. I'm not a fan of PDA though esp btw boyfriends and girlfriends. Was once in a relationship like that and when it was over, the humiliation on fb was depressing.

  10. I'd say whatever rocks your boat. I'm not a fan of PDA though esp btw boyfriends and girlfriends. Was once in a relationship like that and when it was over, the humiliation on fb was depressing.

    1. Lol. I can imagine!
      Pele NSG.
      That's why me I don't like PDA when it comes to dating.The added scrutiny is just annoying.And God forbid the guy messes up.
      How you dey babe?

    2. People will definitely make reference to the "he/she" they used to see and see no more on your social media page/news feed. The process of answering all the questions is disheartening not to talk of embarrassing. True relationships end, PDA or no PDA but I agree it's best to keep it private or minimal at least especially for married folks. In actual fact though, I've got this married lady on my bbm contact list that never puts the picture of her hubby up.