Sunday, 2 October 2016

Miss Melancholic

Hi guys!
Happy New month, Happy New week.
I pray October brings lots of sweetness to all your lives.
I know! I know! I have been MIA. And I have missed you guys.
I have been busy. And Courts have resumed so it is only gonna get even busier.
But manage this post abeg.
Get to know the melancholic side of me ( and why I do the things I do). 

Today we get to talk temperaments.
Specifically the melancholic temperament.
(Actually I wrote this post ages ago but there never seemed a right time to publish it. today seems like a good one. I feel like posting something just so you all know I have you in mind , I really do, and I appreciate everyone who has been checking in , but I literally have a pile of books, and luggage right in front of me. I have to read, and I have to pack, and watch tv at the same time so I can't really write a brand new post. 

 Soooo! My people! No be only boy/girl matter we suppose dey talk about nah. Have you ever wondered what kind of temperament you have? Or why some people behave the way they do?

There are four temperaments; Melancholic, Plegmatic ,Choleric  and Sanguine.

These are combined into twelve pairs called 'blends'.
Each person has one of these blends that fits how they are most of the time; it is constant
throughout life, not a shifting mood. Temperaments don't change according to circumstances; rather, they determine how we react to situations.

Me, I knew I was melancholic without anyone saying a word to me. 
But when I came read more on temperaments , I was a bit relieved. It really explained a lot. I have almost all of the characteristics.

So let's dig into my melancholia.
Melancholic people are emotionally sensitive, perfectionistic introverts.


 Yep! That describes me to a Tee.
I can be quite sensitive to words, to actions, to peoples behavior. ( I see some people nodding in agreement,na una sabi.)lol
I am wildly intuitive, so i rarely get surprised by people i know.
And if someone doesn't like me, i always know. And i am always

I love perfection ehn! If i buy something and it gets chipped or scratched, i almost go and return it oh. I have to restrain myself from doing so. But sometimes i still end up buying another one.

As for being introverted, I was that kid that never smiled. I was always so darn serious. To me the
world was a serious place and I had serious questions. My head was continually twirling, always churning out thoughts and questions.
My poor mum was very bewildered as to what kind of child she had.
 I didn't like visitors though I was apt to make the most disingenuous observations.
 Everyone loved my sister cos she was so sunny. I was the complete opposite.
Even then I was prone to sudden bouts of depression. I would just be unhappy for no tangible reason.
My mum didn't understand it and always gave me h*ell when it happened.
As I have grown older, I have learnt to deal better with those bouts of depression, especially with the word of God.

I was so quiet and introspective  (I still am). I never talked or chattered like kids normally do.
I buried myself in books.They were my world. I could literally be in a different world,immerse myself in fiction, and temporarily forget about anything I was going through.

Its no wonder I always aced English and hated mathematics.

 As a kid, I had moments of complete silence at some perceived hurt or injustice. And if anyone 
asked what was wrong I would say "nothing" while retaining a gloomy face and letting them know I 
was not happy. hehe. I was not the screaming or tantrum throwing type  oh. I was the internally vexing type.

Omg! This is soooo me as a kid. Source
Being "brilliant" and having great grades in primary sch was my saving grace. That made me my 
dad's favorite and made my mum back off sometimes.

She always tried to force me into being happy which of course never worked.

'They respond poorly to compliments, often rebutting them by saying that they're not so great
 after all."

If someone says "Wow, that's a really nice painting you just made!"
They ( we) say something like "I don't know, the eyes are probably too big..." (rather than "Thanks!")

Lol. I do that a lot. Someone says i am this or look this , and i am like me? No way!I have this, i have that.

"They tend to prefer things to be tidy, organised in some way or another.
 This doesn't necessarily mean 'neat' as such; often they have very idiosyncratic organisation methods'
I was (am) very finicky about organization. Everything has to be neat and in their proper place. I arrange the clothes I am going to wear to work for two weeks ahead just because I hate chaos.
I hate looking for stuff ehn or thinking of what to wear.

Anything unorganized gives me a headache. And even if it's messy,i know precisely where everything is.And  I hate when people touch my stuff.

"Melancholics are the most introverted of the temperaments in that they crave time alone, and are most at ease in their own company. They can enjoy spending time with others, but this drains their energy, and they need alone time in order to recharge".
I looooove being alone. I like my own space, don't like talking to much and can't stand chatterboxes for a long period.

As I have grown older now, I am still as introspective as ever.
But that melancholic trait has always persisted. But I have learnt to mask the melancholic part of me cos its something a lot of people don't understand. Of course that's hard to do if you write cos you can't really keep it hidden when you write.  But physically people just say" she is quiet" which is great.
And then sometimes I overcompensate by talking too much. Just so I am not labelled quiet. And it usually stresses me out. 

"Once they have someone to talk to in a quiet and relaxed environment, they can talk a lot and will enjoy sharing thoughts and ideas".
"They are very wary of making friends. Unlike sanguines, it can take them a very long time for them to consider someone they're familiar with a 'friend', but once they've reached this point, they will likely stick with that person loyally. They prefer having a few close friends to many acquaintances."
When I am amongst other people I make an effort to chatter,talk, flow with people but I am still happiest when I am alone. But if I get to know you,i can talk for Africa oh. Don't try me. You will probably beg me to stop talking.

"They can be seen as selfish, because they prefer to be alone with their thoughts, to have their own things, rather than sharing time or possessions socially with others.
They are usually very possessive about the things that they own and are reluctant to let others 

borrow or use them, because they treat their own things well, care about everything deeply, and will worry that others will not look after them with the same level of care".
I hate sharing anything, even people. hehe. I will rather give out than share.
I hate borrowing people things ehnn cos they never return it in the same condition as you gave them. Even my sister does that. And immediately its flawed, i cant use it again. It becomes imperfect in some way.

Come to think of it, do I have mild OCD? 

'They could be described as 'intense', rather than 'easy-going'.

Lol. My mum and exes will have stories to tell about my intensity. In short i have wahala.
Plus my colleagues and my tailors. 

"They are tenacious and cannot let things go, because 'good enough' is not good enough. They strive for perfection."

I am very tenacious oh. Like a dog with a bone. If i am on to something, i don't let go until i prove it right.

Again! My tailors would probably agree that good enough isn't good enough with me.
My gosh! Why are Nigerian tailors so exasperating?  
"They can become very 'moody', and they can be difficult to interact with because they are so easily hurt."

 My mood swings no get part two. I can be happy one minute, and irritable the next.

"They are not aggressive, and wish to flee from things that cause them distress." Lol


"They tend to argue, because they cannot simply let things be if they seem wrong. They argue using reason, evidence, logic, and explanations, delivered analytically or with pleading. They 
only argue to set wrongs right, rather than to assert dominance. The argument is about the issue, not about them".

I can argue for Africa ehn. 

I came across a post on nairaland where the poster further analyzed the effects of temperaments on Career Choices and Love..
I was not surprised to read that melancholics do not trust easily and can be very vengeful. I can keep a grudge for Africa But i am better than i used to be sha.

Yay! we have come to the end of this post.
This post describes a lot of my personality in ways i could never ever ever have put into words. Its so apt ehn. You don't even know.
Note though that a particular temperament may not describe you as easily as it did me.
Most people have a combination of temperaments.

Whats your temperament?
Do you think human behavior can be neatly divided into  temperaments?
Lets Talk.


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