Facebook and the fine boy

You know what! Lemme just tell you what a fine face got me into this time before you start imagining the worst.Ok! so like most people, I have a Facebook account.

 However I rarely visit it, post pictures or even comment nowadays cos it's somehow become boring to me.
I have stopped adding strange faces to my Facebook cos I just don't see the point of having more than ten social media friends. If I don't know you, I rarely accept your friend request.

What's the key?

Hi, here is a question i have often wondered.
What's the key to a mans heart? What is that thing that unlocks love from men?

     source

What makes a playboy favor one woman to the exclusion of all. She might not even be as beautiful as the others in his harem.
The truth is men do not love as often or as deeply or even as truthfully as women.
But sometimes they do fall in love, sometime they do become unselfish and let another person in.
What is that defining factor that makes this happen?
A man may be dating five women all at the same time (make una no lie, its something you can do or have even done before lol)

Five things nobody knows.

Its time to share some secrets. Did you think we were done getting to know each other? Not at all.
We are still in the getting to know each other stage. And since I am so nice (bats eyelashes) I want to share some things with you. Shhhhhhhhhh! Don't tell anybody oh.

Here are five things nobody knows about me.

The Marriage Trap (conclusion)

Finally! Here's the concluding post to part 1 and part 2 here.

Some days after the chat, she sent me a message that her husband seized her phones and I had been chatting with her husband who apparently went berserk after he saw my messages and concluded that she had been telling tales to her friend.He reported her to his family and she had to face a series of lectures on not talking to anybody about your marriage and how friends (in this case me) could be dangerous (and steal your husband) lol.

Lazy Sunday

Thank God its still weekend!
This Sunday get as e be.
First of all I woke up late.
Everybody has gone to church, I am still at home.
Doing Nothing oh. I don't know what's wrong with me.
I just feel kinda tired which should be a good excuse except that same thing happened last week.
Thats was how I convinced myself to stay at home too.
Kai! Next week I must catapult myself to church by fire by force.
That spirit of sitting at home must be bound by force. Lol

How was your weekend? I hope you aren't being as lazy as me.

The Marriage Trap 2

This is a continuation of my previous post.
For those who haven't read it,read it here.

I spent the next couple of days still in the dark. I couldn't call because she told me not to call her on her mobile or sent text messages. Apparently she had a new secret line where I had to wait for her to call me.
It all seemed very spyish, James Bondish and mysterious.
Then a couple of days she opened up to me.

The Marriage Trap

I used to think marriage was a bed of roses.
Surely, that beautific smile the bride almost always wears is an indication of how happy she is.
When you add the countless "my better half, my best friend" posts on facebook, you start wishing you had one of your own.
So many people I know have fallen into this trap and can't get out.
Unfortunately society doesn't really encourage divorce. Once you are in it you are expected to stay in it.
Viv is a good friend of mine. We met on a road trip some many years ago. She was traveling to see her then

Inn-o-cent-i

I have lived life. Played hard and fast.
 And I don't regret (most of) it.
 As I have mentioned earlier, maybe I could have slowed down a bit when I was younger but no one tells you to slow down when it's time. You kinda do that on your own.

It however amuses me when the guys in my office have one of their numerous sex talks which varies from

Monday blues.

Monday has never been my favorite day. Even as a student post and pre university, till law school and now that I am working, Nothing has changed.
I hate Mondays jare. I don't care if anyone lectures me about the word hate.
Monday represents chaos, rush, upheaval and a disruption of the relaxation and rest of the previous weekend.
I wish there were no Mondays but then I would probably hate Tuesday too if it followed Sunday lol.
However to be truthful there was a jobless period I had when I didn't hate Mondays.
Cos I didn't have anywhere to go so the days were sort of all the same.
Waoh! To go back to those good old days.
Nah!
I am just kidding. I was so bored then I had to start a Masters programme.
Thank God that spell is over.
This Monday was one of the worst ones. It seemed to take forever for it to be closing time. So slow! It didn't help that I was on the Computer all day. And no I wasn't watching a tv show or browsing.
(although technically I still browsed on my phone). Does that count?
I was working all thru. Doing what they pay me to do.
Anyway How did your Monday go? (or whatever the day is wherever you are).
Will love to know.

Post a comment below! Let's hear how your day went.

Why I would have been divorced.

When I was younger, I dreamt so much of getting married. I had the day all planned in my head and what I would wear.
My criteria for a groom was a recipe for disaster.
Handsome, tall (the womb thing came later), rich, a big boy (Goodness knows what I thought that meant), loved me absolutely to the exception of everybody else, didn't have a big family, a good lover, a professional (only a doctor, a pilot or lawyer would do) though I could have managed a banker,lol.

The Blog is a week old!

Yay!
We are one week old.
And its been fun all the way.Amazing fun, and it's due to you my dear readers for making me feel welcome to the blogosphere.
As I mentioned in my first post here I have always wanted to blog but never really followed up on it.
I must however mention that blogging isn't as easy as it looks. I follow a lot of blogs and somehow I never really gave a thought to the work that goes into keeping a blog going.

My first introduction was the template, layout stuff, widget stuff.Not only did I have to chose colours, I had to also chose the width,font,font colour,font size, arrangement etc I must confess I gave up on the first try and chose the one which appeared simplest. Most of what you see are the default settings. Although I will gradually be changing it up gradually as I get the hang of it.

Another surprise was that you get readers from all over the World, countries I hardly expected blog visitors from. Different continents even. India,Canada,Netherlands, Germany etc.
Concerning the posts that seem to garner the most page views, blog visitors love to read about sex, relationships and anything concerning the opposite sex. Though to be fair the Bookhaolic post did get a lot of page views.

I have also learnt that patience is a virtue. No wait! I learnt that years ago.
What else have I learnt?
Oh yes! That y'all are amazing. Thanks for coming by and feel free to email me at funmireese@gmail.com.
I would love to hear from you.
P.S big hug to all those who comment. I remember how excited I was at the very first comment. Keep letting me know what YOU think.

Hopeless Romantic!

I still remain an eternal optimist about love.
Never mind my single status or numerous heartbreaks heartshatters. The truth is I have had my heart broken just twice in my life.But if you love like I do, twice is too much.
But like I said, I remain optimistic that there is something called true love, that it never dies and that it's possible for a man to love a woman with all his heart and not cheat on her.
I don't regret any of the men I loved even if I begrudge them the time wasted.

Grown Up

There are times i think i grew up too fast. I was in a hurry to know about a lot of things. I wanted to grow up so quickly and be able to do what grown ups do.
It seemed like grown ups were having all the fun. They could eat all they wanted or so it seemed to me then. It never occurred to me that a lot of hard work had to be done before money to buy the food can be gotten.Nor did it occur to me the responsibility that comes with growing up.
It also seemed like only grown ups knew about sex.

When a guy is crazy about you.And you arent!

I get to meet a lot of guys daily and a little attention is sometimes welcoming, but nothing drives me more crazy than when I meet a guy who falls in love lust and refuses to let you breathe. They call you every second, every minute, every day, wanting to know every thing you did that day , want to talk to my mum,my sister, pay me visits at home....
When you manage to avoid the phone calls social media makes it worse! They can stalk you literally on Skype, send u messages on  facebook, twitter, bbm chat and whatsap.

One went as far as asking my supervisor at work to help convince me to marry him.lol

Death took Her!

This post is all about a close friend who died. Nope not the one mentioned earlier here. Another one! Yep! And yes it does seem like my friends die a lot. But totally not my fault. I don't have any close female friends again as a result of that even though I have a wide range of girlfriends who look out for each other. But that one special close friend who you love and trust totally, No! I don't have any except maybe my sister. We are very close but she's a bit of a prude. Sex is the last thing she wants to talk about.

My crush hates me!

I can be a drama queen sometimes.
And it's not my fault oh. As clear headed and logical as (I think) I am,i can as my sister says,be full of drama.
Now, There's this guy. Not ordinarily my  type in anyway cos he's very tall and tall guys in my experience have long

TV shows I am crazy about.

Hi guys!

I wanna talk about tv shows I love.
I have never being a movie person though of course when I was younger I watched the requisite family films in the living room. God forbid the characters kissed or have sex with our parents watching.
However as I have grown older I rarely watch movies though I did manage to watch 12 years a slave some days back. I feel Movies are so short and usually don't have the patience to sit through what will soon be over.
TV shows are my new loves. I can usually binge watch all episodes in a season at a go. Though no horror/alien/missing person/cop/detective tv shows for me,Thank you very much.
I prefer drama and some comedy. My all time favorite is Game of thrones.Something about the intrigue and unpredictability just gets me.You never know who is going to die.
 Shameless (the US version) is another great show. Though I dare not watch in a public place cos of the random sex and nudity  that always seems to happen.
Downtown Abbey. I love the old woman.
Once upon a time. Who doesn't love prince Charming?
Mad Men.
Suits.
Parks and Recreation.
Hot in Cleveland.
Am also loving 2 broke girls.
Breaking bad. Though for some reason I am still on Season 3.
The Haves and the Have nots. Awesome Tyler Perry show.
Scandal! Who doesn't love a presidential romance?
Never mind that said president has a wife and kids.
The Originals! I totally love Klaus. I hope he isn't gay like the Prison Break guy that broke my heart.
Reign!
The Blacklist! I totally knew the husband was a fraud.
Devious Maids!
Single Ladies. Though I sort of lost interest after Val left.
How I met your Mother!
Glee!
The Good Wife!
Modern Family!
House of Lies!
House of Cards is especially my favorite as you get to download all the episodes in one sweep.
Vampire Diaries though i sort of lost interest after Klaus and co got their own show.
Revenge!though I can't say I understand it anymore.

I haven't gotten around to watching Boss,Orange is the New Black, New Girl . Are they any good?i wonder.

So there you have it. What are your favorite shows and why?

Post a comment below! Let me know what YOU think.

Bookaholic

I am in bed with a cold this Monday Morning.Unable to go to work.
My boss will have a fit but he will calm down. I can't even manage to go. My head is pounding,eyes are bloodshot,nose is blocked etc. Only a wicked man would want me in the office with such symptoms. However my boss is far from wicked, very generous and kind man. Just a workaholic who would live in the office all day if he could.He Hates going home.And I wouldn't care about that if he didn't expect all his staff to be the same way.Not that I don't love my job,i do. Its what I have always dreamt of doing but it's one thing to love a job it's another to be absolutely engrossed with it to the detriment of other things.

My First Time!

A lot of women remember their first time fondly!
I don't! Why? You ask.
Well for a lot of reasons not least because Ex number 2 who I lost it to was a jerk.Not only do I regret losing it to him but it wasn't fun at all.
I had always had opportunities to lose my virginity from my teen years.
But I was determined to wait for the person I thought was worth it.Also I thought it was disgusting to have sex in your teens so I wanted to become an adult at least.
So it was that I considered myself one when I gained admission into the University. The very first time I went to pay my school fees,i met him!Yep! Ex number 2.

Ex number one

Not surprisingly I have quite a number of exes. Some I dated long term and some for a very short time and dumped theirs asses when I realised it was going no where.
So let's talk about ex number one.
I met Ex 1 when I was in secondary school.lol!Yeah I know I started early!But it was just one of those secondary school stuff and totally innocent. He was my friend's brother and attended an all boys school. Ex 1 was dark and handsome! I love dark guys. Aaaaaaaaaand he had a car, so was like a big boy in the eyes of all of us SS3 students then. I had a crush on him and somehow somehow to my surprise my friend told me her brother liked me. I was pleasantly surprised though I didn't say anything to her about my feelings or otherwise.
My friend died some months after that and to find some closure I didnt stop going to her house cos I felt I couldn't abandon her family like all our friends did. I helped them cook,clean,sweep and wash plates and just hung out with them generally,gisting and watching films.
I felt my presence will help him and his mum find some closure too not knowing (he told me this years later) seeing me reminded them of my friend and was like rubbing salt on a fresh wound.
Anyway in that limbo between finishing WAEC and getting into the university we started dating. I thought I loved him sha.
However I dumped  him when I entered Uni. Yeah!i was cruel, I know. But I was young and thoughtless! I must have been about 16 then.I somehow felt I was a big girl now and unlucky him didn't get admission early into the uni.
So I left him for ex number 2.
Yep!Ex.That didn't end well too. Lol!
And that's another story.

Single!

So I guess the first question y'all are gonna ask me is why I am still single.
As the yorubas will say,be ni wo sen biyon meaning that is how they ask somebody.
Its kuku not my fault oh that the men I like don't like me and the ones I don't are all over me.Isn't that just weird?
I have met some great men in this my short( long/getting long) life. However I have only met about two or three that I consider marriageable for me. Now, I am a bit of a picky person both in life and relationships. For example!
I like Strong men but not stubborn ones.
I like handsome men but not so handsome that all women are after him(i can't shout abeg)lol.
I love guys who are comfortable but not too rich.
I like guys who love God but aren't too brotherish.lol!
I like guys who are into me but have other interests.I so hate it when I am all a guys thinks about!
At the same time,i want to mean the whole world to him.
I like non traditional guys.

I guess y'all can see why I am still single.i have only met few men I feel I can stand till death do us part. Unfortunately meddling mothers and skanky babe's did us part.
Lol!More on that Later.

Introduction! Ten things about FR.

Hi new readers and friends!
This blog has being a long time coming.
I have always wanted to blog but I kept putting it off.I didn't even know what name I wanted to call it.Not my real name though.
I was also like ' is anybody even going to  read it? What special thing is going to make people want to read my posts and come back for more' .
 I guess i was wrong since You ( yes you) are reading this now. lol
Cos this blog is going to be anonymous to avoid causing wahala for myself and those close to me.
I can imagine my friends killing me if they figure out that they were the ones i was referring to in a particular post. Hahahaha.

Now lemme see oh!what can I tell you for you to get to know me a little bit better?
Let's see!Ten important info about Funmi ( note again,not real name).
1. Am female.(yep that's totally important) lol.
2.Am Single.
3.About to be Thirty (And yep still single)
4.Am a christian.
5.I like sleep.
6.I love Tv shows. As in I am an addict. My day int complete unless i have watched something. And i am pretty flexible. i watch pretty much anything, even Disney shows except horror films or shows. I can barely stomach vampire films.
7.I am very family oriented. I can do anything for my family.
8.I love food.Although i love water more sha.
9.I love to listen.
10.I am a loner.I like my company a lot.

These info about me will form the crux of my posts on this blog so I just wanted you to know from the onset.
There are others I left out on purpose like my taste in men and sex.
Nah!i am not saying a word!Yet! You will have to read to know about that.