Marriage List of Life

I came across this post on the very funny Zoe's blog last week and i decided to share with y'all cos i am so nice.hehe.
Actually lemme not lie,its not because i am nice, (but i am nice oh) i just want y'all to read it cos i still cant believe my eyes.
So here is the post.

hmmmmmm……so one of my handsome uncles just arrived Nigeria last 4 weeks from the U.S where he studied engineering and now works with a big company that has a branch right here in the big city of Lagos…….*eyebrow raised*…..ya…..am talking about my uncle from obodo oyinbo….hehehhe.

3 Saturdays ago I went to my family house to chill for the week end and also to eat enough good food since na only garri dey for my house. When I got home I meet my mum all dressed up for a party, I quickly asked her where she was going and she replied saying, “remember Seun that just got back from US nah”, I nodded like an agama lizard, she continued, “we are going to do his introduction and collect marriage list from that girl’s family he meet on facebook” anyways I decided to follow her because this kind thing can never pass me.

Pic Source

When we got to the house, we were greeted by a very thin looking girl who was smiling like a clown; I later learnt she was a younger sister to the ‘girl’…..awa girl…..as in sister inlaw to be…hehehe….. We got inside the house and saw an elderly man wearing a brown singlet that has turned into a shimi on his body…….you know that kin singlet that after one wash like this, the thing go con be like woman shimi nah……yah….that is what am talking about…… In fact everyone was sheepishly smiling in that house…….

After all the greetings and introduction we were handed the list in an envelope….. In absence of no other thing to talk about, we promised to get back to them and then we left.

While we were inside the car heading home my mum opened the envelope and few seconds later, she started screaming while waving the envelope towards me……in fact I fear o…… at first I thought something was wrong with her, until I collected the paper in the envelope and my heartbeat paused for a second……there was silence …..my ears were blocked……in fact i couldn’t read within me so  I read the following items out loud with my eyes wide open.

1. 7 male goats for the elders
2. 7 female goats for the old women.
3. 120 years of Nigeria Wax for her sisters.
4. 3 Apple Laptops.
5. 5 pieces of bold 6 blackberries.
6. 50 liters of petrol.
7. A white bicycle for her uncle.
8. 200 pairs of bathroom slippers for the villagers.
9. 5 trip of sand and 20 bags of dangote cement.
And different type of orishirishi. The listed items were up to 50.

Anyways I got a call yesterday saying my uncle is on his way back to the US……According to him (in his American accent),  “WTF!!!  they wanna suck me dry!”….heheheh
But really…do you think a marriage list should look like that?………are they selling the girl?……..make I even ask wetin dey won use 3 Apple Laptops do…..I bet the dad can’t even operate first generation of tecno phone. 

Is your mouth opened wide like mine was? This is what they call 'marriage list awon aiye" lol.
I was like is this marriage list or contract list?
smh.

In other unrelated news, I have to be in Court today with two of my ogas. I have sort of been on leave cos the Courts have been on vacation, even though I have been going to work.
Now they have resumed and court Waka Waka don start.

I sha hope what happens the last time I was in that particular Court doesn't happen.
Court was in session,the three Judges were talking,everywhere was dead silent.That was how I started coughing. Chai!I tried and tried to stifle it but the cough no stop.
I was horrified. I don't normally cough except if I have a cold.
And our case had been called. My colleague was talking.
How could I now leave him when he had already announced our appearances.
But the clerks were already giving me the evil eye ,the female judge was giving me the side eye.
When the "eyes" were becoming too much, I just carry all my books and orishirishi and slunk out of the courtroom.
I just abandoned my colleague to continue the talking and as soon as I stepped outside,

The Cough stopped.
Imagine!

P.S. My weekend starts from tomorrow after the Court sha. Friday I won't be at work.So I plan to make it count. 
Guess whose birthday it is tomorrow.
My awesome mum. 
I am still wondering what to get her sef. Maybe a new blackberry. It is kuku checking her own facebook, doing gbeborun on my dad's facebook and chatting with my brother on BBM that she does majorly with the one she has now.
Lemme not go and buy Android ehn and she will step up her game and and my dad will ask me who sent me message. hehe.

#ok bye. Its almost 1am and i am still typing this.